In 17 days...

In 17 days, I will be 30...






In 17 days, I will have reached a point in my life where certain goals/ambitions/life questions have yet to be answered, accomplished, or met... and I need to find a way to come to grips with that while still keeping my sanity.






In 17 days, I will be at a stage in my life where I had pictured the cast of characters to be slightly different...



In 17 days, I will no longer be in my twenties and I will be classified as a full-fledged adult... Does that mean I have to start acting like one?!



In 17 days, something and someone I have thought about EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for 29 years is still to be mystery to me... and that my friends, is the HARDEST. PILL. TO. SWALLOW... More so than having the number "3" in front of my age.



I'm going to be 30 years old in 17 days...



and I still have never met, seen, or spoke to my "real father"... and that, dear bloggie friends, is enough for me to just want to sleep until that day comes so I don't have to continue to dwell & have that missing puzzle piece of my life consume my thoughts FOR. THE. NEXT. 17. DAYS...



I'm a person who believes birthdays are a celebration! I believe in growing older and welcoming a new year and celebrating the blessings that come with age. I believe life is a gift!...



But how do I celebrate a life still filled with question marks??????????...

So I will try to continue reading this quote for the next 17 days... I will rejoice in the family and friends that I do have and am SO. BLESSED. to have in my life.

For the next 17 days, I will look to my sweet husband (as I have done for the past 2 years) as the ONLY positive father figure my daughter OR myself ever needs...

For the next 17 days and for the rest of my time, I will try to focus on my "have's" instead of my "have nots"...

For the next 17 days, I will look at myself in the mirror and continue to remind myself I am a BEAUTIFUL. STRONG. WOMAN. and screw that bastard for not wanting to be a part of my life!

THE END.