It's a jungle out there!...

Oh my sweet bloggie friends... It's been a very trying day for me... It all started well and normal... me & baby girl went out after breakfast and ran some errands and were headed home before lunch time... we were in our subdivision & started to pull onto our street when I saw a lady, who I always see walking her dog. I gave her a friendly, neighborly wave & she flagged me down... and that my dear bloggies friends is where it all goes downhill...

She proceeds to tell me that her neighbor told her that there IS A PYTHON LOOSE IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD!!!!!!!! WTF!?!?! 1) Who the hell keeps a python as a pet and 2) how the hell did it get loose???? WTF!? Were you walking it & it got loose from its leash???? Seriously!

I AM DEATHLY!!!!!! AFRAID OF SNAKES (eeeewwwww, I can't even type that word without getting the shivers)... :(

So me and the neighbor talk in the middle of the road for a good 10 minutes as I have a panic attack!... I pull into my garage & if anybody was watching me get out of the car, I'm sure they had a jolly, old laugh because walking from the car to the kitchen door in the garage you would have thought I was a lunatic walking on hot coals! I needed to get out of the car, get my child, and all our stuff from the car into the house before the "on the loose python" attacked us!!!!!... It was quite comical looking back on it now...

Once we were safe in the house, I immediately called our Home Owners Association to get the 411 and make sure this just wasn't neighborhood gossip.. well to my dismay it was completely TRUE!!!!! (GOOD GRACIOUS!) I spent about 30min talking to our HOA manager... She tells me they have already contacted 3 different wild animal capture agencies and the last time this thing was spotted was on Friday!... Which only means one thing in my mind, "Oh shit! It's gonna come out of one of my toilets! That slimy bastard is probably lurking in my pipes!" (PS. sorry for the foul language but this is a ON THE LOOSE PYTHON we're talking about & I am FREAKING OUT!)

I still remember a story I saw on the news a few years back were a snake was loose in a subdivision about 45 minutes away from here & it showed up in some one's camode!!! I WOULD LITERALLY DIE! I have remembered that news story ever since (and occasionally still think about it when I'm going to the bathroom because that IS one of my worst nightmares!!!... and now its coming true! Sweet Mary, I'm gonna have a heart attack just thinking about it!)... I can barely go to the restroom in peace between my toddler & my husband, now I have to REALLY worry about a python biting me on the bottom!!!...

Oh my stars! You better believe all day, I have barely even let my bottom touch the seat! I need to be prepared to jump off in a jiffy!... Oh, I need to calm down because I'm going to give myself a panic attack! (Please Jesus, please don't let me ever come face to face or bottom to face with a snake!!!!)

So in conclusion, you will no longer see me outside... Bye, bye my lovely veggie garden (hubs will have to take care of you now)... Bye, laying on a beach chair getting sun while baby girl plays in the pool... Bye, taking my daughter to the neighborhood playground... You are right beside the pond & we all know how much those slithery creatures love the water... Let's be honest, I doubt I'm even going to get the mail!

Oh and to top it all off, if killer snakes weren't enough to keep a gal indoors, the killer mosquitoes will!... A big ole boy attacked my face the other day & I have a whelp the size of Texas on my forehead!... Geez Louise, it has not been my week with the wild animals...